cropped-48.pngIn September of last year, I was all excited to make a list of 48 things to do while I was 48.  It seemed like a good idea at the time.   Now as I get closer to September again, I’m feeling a bit under the gun.   There are only so many weekends left in the summer and there are a lot of things on the list that will probably not get ticked off and that’s cool because I’ve learned some things about me.

The first thing on last years list was to make a budget and stick to it.  That lasted about five days.   I need to figure out how to reword the budget thing so that I can actually make it achievable.  Hmm.  Maybe it’s not really about changing the words to suit my needs but more about changing me to accomplish what I set out to.  Damn.  I hate when I catch myself trying to cheat the system.   Maybe I really do need to Make A Budget AND Stick To It.    Because it is responsible and smart and Suzie Orman and every financial planner in the world says so.  And like my cousin Lynn says “Who is going to pay for your groceries when you are 65?” It just doesn’t seem fun.  It seems Big Girl and Boring.  I am not committing to it yet but will consider it.

Another thing I learned is that I don’t really dig those meditation coloring books.  In fact, I wanted to tear them to shreds and burn them when I finally sat down to “find peace between the lines.”   There was ZERO serenity involved with picking which pink pencil to use on the 164 petals of the teeny, tiny flowers that were surrounded by magical black and white butterflies and endless floral options.  It felt more like torture. So one day when I left them on the deck and a torrential downpour blew through, I was pretty thrilled to watch the water soak through the stacks of paper.  There would be no checking it off my  list.  There would be no more torture about “Just Do It.”  I would no longer work really hard at finishing a complete coloring book because in the end, who really cares that it was on my list?   And so what… it’s a COLORING BOOK for God’s sake.  Phew…   glad that one is done and over.

Do a handstand and a backbend are on the list.  This may or may not be do-able in the next month.

Start my blog again was on the list.   I did ONE blog post… It was the actual list from last year.   But writing has been in and out of my consciousness for the entire year.  THIS is the one that I would really like to spend some more time with.  I recently watched a video by Gary Vaynerchuck, an entrepreneur, writer and social media guru.  The quick overview – follow your passion, be truthful, talk to the world and “fuck fear”.  (He’s got a whole NYC persona, tough guy, cut to the chase attitude about him that I love.)  Along with a few other peeps that have been put in my life recently, I’m motivated to start writing out loud again. I’m Scared.  I’m Nervous.  I’m Wondering if what I have to say matters and if my writing is good enough.  And within seconds I have caught myself …. STOP DOING THAT TO YOURSELF.  DO what you like.  And I like to write.

SO JUST DO IT and hit the publish button to START….