There was no option. I HAD to write. I was leaving a marriage that I had been in for too long. I had to journal my way through the tears and pain and fear and uncertainty. In my words, I found the courage to be true to myself. On the page, I was honest, even if in real life I wasn’t. There was relief in putting words to my thoughts.
And then I did it. I left. And I was REALLY alone. No partner. No kids. Family lived away. So I did what any good salesperson would do. I worked.
Over the next three years, life threw me some curves and I needed to find a way to stay as sane as possible. I continued to write. But now I started writing for the public and other people actually read it.
My first blog was through Caring Bridge, a site dedicated to sharing people’s health stories. Facebook wasn’t big yet so I used this tool to communicate with friends and family during my first cancer journey. I didn’t want to have to repeat myself on a regular basis. THAT was just too hard – as if chemo was a walk in the park. I never expected people would actually “enjoy” my writing. I just didn’t want to feel so alone. This blog was a true gift. I could rant and rave and bang at my keyboard and people would actually respond.
When the universe moved me to Kenya, I created another blog to share this wild and crazy experience. From a hilltop in a remote part of the world, I would peck away at my blackberry and bring people with me to a place that was beyond my wildest dreams. KENYA? WHAT? WHY? I questioned myself a lot. Even now, nine years later, I pinch myself and remember the days spent at a children’s home surrounded by laughter and gratitude and hope. Thank God I wrote about it Thank God I have these memories in words. Thank God I can revisit one of the most magical, daring and life-changing times in my life.
The third blog was during my second trip to Kenya but that’s a different story.
Finally, enough time has passed that I now have enough courage to share my story in book form. I hope that somehow, someway this will affect others. I hope this book pushes people to embrace each day…. To really come to terms with the meaning of the word “mortality”. I hope that somehow this book challenges people to do something beyond their comfort zone I hope someone breaks out of their restrictive, soul-sucking bubble and changes the world – if only for a day, a month, a year. MAYBE, just maybe these words will push someone to follow their heart, even if it has nothing to do with money or power or success.
We are only here for such a short time. This book is my next version of “Geronimo”. It’s my shot at pushing my limits and finishing something that I started and throwing it out into the universe and see what happens next.